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PICTURES
| Austenuated Consequences | |
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Here's how the game worked. Picture a sort of Austen Mad Libs. It is in fact an old parlour game that has been played in English sitting rooms for at least 250 years.
Each person is given a blank from to fill in, and after completing one section, has to fold the section to hide it, then pass on the form to their neighbour, who fills in the next section, not knowing what had previously been written….and so it continues! The idea is to construct a small story, which might or might not make sense, but is ,hopefully, amusing. First, the name of a male Austen character was chosen, then the name of a female, then a specific Austen location where they met. The characters then exchanged words and The Consequence Was….. is added.
Confused? Here is an example:
"Mr. Crawford" met Here are the Consequences we came up with, each written by 6 different people without knowing what had been written before they added their line. The eagle-eyed amongst you will note that some non-Austen references crept in: we blame not Jane for this but the consumption of Pimms the ROP drink of choice! Enjoy!
Mr. Bennet and Lydia Bennet were at the new Greek temple at Norland. He said to her, "To London! For a haircut!" She said to him, "I will not be dictated to by a watch." And the consequence was twins or a new fireplace.
Mr. Darcy and Lady Catherine were in the garden of the parsonage at Mansfield Park. He said to her, "I never said any such thing in my life." She said to him, "It is not everyone who has your passion for dead leaves." And the consequence was they busied themselves amidst the shelves in the closet - happy thought indeed!
James the coachman and Anne Elliot were in Mr. Darcy's study. He said to her, "We neither of us perform to strangers." She said to him, "And Charlotte Lucas danced with him." And the consequence was they married and lived happily ever after.
Charles Hayter and Charlotte Lucas were in a locked room at Northanger Abbey. He said to her, "I have two and forty speeches." She said to him, "Obi-wan Kenobi, I need your help!" And the consequence was a walk on the wild side!
Henry Crawford and Mrs. Norris were in the kitchen at Longbourne. He said to her, "He will jilt you well!" She said to him, "Happy thought indeed!" and the consequence was Sir Thomas Bertram sold them into slavery.
George Wickham and Caroline Bingley were in the parlour at Longbourne. He said to her, "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you!" She said to him, "Ten thousand pounds! How is half such a sum to be repaid?" And the consequence was from this day on she was a stranger to one of her parents.
Edmund Bertram and Lydia Bennett were at the ha-ha at Sotherton. He said to her, "Come and see my potato." She said to him, "This is a prettyish sort of wilderness." And the consequence was their picnic was spoilt.
Mr.Bennet and Lady Catherine were in a prettyish sort of wilderness. He said to her, "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." She said to him, "I have learned to love a hyacinth." And the consequence was that they danced a reel.
Colonel Brandon and Mary Bennet were in the loo at Mansfield Park. He said to her, "It was badly done, badly done indeed." She said to him, "You must allow me to tell you how much I admire and love you." And the consequence was they lived happily ever after.
Edward Ferrars and Lydia Bennet were in the Pump Room in Bath. He said to her, "I have not the pleasure of understanding you." She said to him, "Are you fond of walking?" And the consequence was she had a new litter of pugs.
Mr. Darcy and Lady Catherine were at Pemberley. He said to her, "You pierce my soul." She said to him, "Who would not be pleased." And the consequence was a best selling novel!
Frank Churchill and Lady Catherine were at the Inn at Lambton. He said to her, "A girl likes to be crossed in love now and then." She said to him, "And no one can be introduced in a ballroom." And the consequence was a divorce.
Edward Ferrars and Elizabeth Bennet were in the garden of the parsonage. He said to her, "You pierce my soul." She said to him, "I am quite put out!" And the consequence was the improvement of their minds through extensive reading!
Mr. Hurst and Elizabeth Elliot were in Bath. He said to her, "Muslins are worn short this year." She said to him, "I am excessively diverted!" The consequence was she fainted!
Captain Wentworth and Mrs. Bennet were in a pretty bit of wilderness. He said to her, "Madam, really!" She said to him, "I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible." The consequence was he had to wash the carriage again.
John Thorpe and Mary Musgrove were in Mr. Woodhouse's chicken coop. He said to her, "Consent to be my wife!" She said to him, "Every feeling revolts!" The consequence was a hasty elopement!
Mr. John Knightley and Lydia Bennet were in Mrs. Bates' house. He said to her, "Badly done, Emma!" She said to him, "I could never marry you!" The consequence was a slap in the face!
Mr. Bennet and Fanny Price were in the picture gallery at Pemberley. He said to her, "Badly done!" She said to him, "Have pity on my poor nerves!" The consequence was they parted forever.
Henry Tilney and Caroline Bingley were at the ha-ha at Sotherton. He said to her, "Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth!" She said to him, "Happy thought indeed!" The consequence was his gig overturned and he cracked open his head!
Mr. Knightley and Isabella Thorpe were in Fitzwilliam Darcy's bedroom. He said to her, "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you!" She said to him, "Men do not like novels." The consequence was Lady Catherine came to call on them.
Little Walter Musgrove and Hill were in the Bath Assembly Rooms. He said to her, "Are you not diverted?" She said to him, "I am sorry to give you pain but I am sure it will be of short duration." And the consequence was heartburn.
John Thorpe and Mrs. Bennet were in the prettyish sort of wilderness. He said to her, "I'm excessively diverted." She said to him, "Do not importune me, sir!" And the consequence between them was there was a union between them.
John Thorpe and Emma Woodhouse were in front of the fireplace at Rosings. He said to her, "Do you come here often?" She said to him, "If you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner I would have said yes." And the consequence was an exemplary vegetable.
Sir Thomas and Nancy Steele were at the ha-ha at Sotherton. He said to her, "Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?" She said to him, "Shelves in the closet, happy thought indeed!" And the consequence was they lived happily ever after in a van down by the river! |
