] ] What were conkers? I am sorry, but "I shall conker this!" was excessively diverting, even if I don't know what they are.

] Not my original joke (though I wish it was). The nuts of the horse chestnut tree are used by British children to play a game called conkers, which essentially involves hitting your opponent's conker (ie horse chestnut) with your own and seeing whose smashes. Here's a link to one of several earlier discussions.